Vampires Aren’t Sexy


Yes, New Moon has broken all sorts of box office records and another installment of the Twilight series, called Eclipse, is due out in June 2010.  If that doesn’t give you your fill of vampires, Transylmania, a vampire comedy is currently playing in theaters.  Still, I remember a time when vampires weren’t considered sexy.  Nor, were they conflicted about their identity.  They were creatures to be feared, not pined over.  Also, they knew what their purpose in life was–namely to suck blood and they did it with zest.  Is Anne Rice, with her Interview With A Vampire and her other vampire books, to blame for this and Stephaine Meyer, the author of the Twilight books was just building on this idea of tortured creatures of the night?

Well, whatever you think, the idea of someone sinking his fangs into my jugular isn’t a turn on.  It gives me the willies and I’m sure it would be very painful.   Below are some more reasons as to why vampires aren’t sexy.

They suck blood
Think about it.  If a person needs to suck blood to stay alive then that person isn’t interested in a relationship.  That person wants to sink his or her fangs into as many persons as he or she can before sunrise.  While the vampire many have other vampire companions and “converts”, there is no room for compromise or sacrifice.  A vampire just wants blood and nothing else will do.

They live forever
Since a vampire lives on blood, the belief is that he or she can live forever.  That’s not good for a relationship.  After all, the only way a vampire can have a significant other is to bite the other.  That’s a bit much, if you ask me.  Also, if you are mortal, I bet it can get annoying to keep hearing how wild Paris was during the French Revolution, or how frumpy Queen Victoria really was or how the 1920’s weren’t that “roaring”.

They only come out at night
Really, a person who only comes out at night is not the kind of person to have a relationship with.  Why?  Because people who only come out at night aren’t the kind of people who have jobs and responsibilities, they are either moochers looking for a moochie or they are vampires out for blood.

So, be on the lookout for tortured souls with blood stains during your travels at night.  That person just may be a vampire.

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One Response to “Vampires Aren’t Sexy”

  1. kerri Says:

    Im looking forward to Daybreakers- its not like any other vampire movie. The special trailer on Break is the coolest one ive seen http://bit.ly/7KRzXH

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