Movies You Won’t See


Good movies make you suspend your disbelief. So, no one is surprised that at the end of a mainstream Hollywood movie, the guy gets the girl or the villain goes to jail. If for some reason the ending can’t be happy, then it has to be hopeful. Still, just for the heck of it, what would happen if…

The Bad Guy Gets Away
It was the perfect crime, with a foolproof plan, executed by master criminal and—it works!  The criminal robs the biggest bank in town and gets away from the cops without so much as a paper cut. The criminal takes the money and settles in some Caribbean island. The island’s authorities know who this person is but the criminal worked out a deal that in exchange for not alerting American authorities, the criminal convinces casinos to set up shop on the island. The island gets income. The criminal lives in a penthouse suite at one of the casinos and has unlimited comps. Life is good.

They Live Happily Ever After—Just Not With Each Other
Boy and Girl meet. Girl has fight with Boy. Boy leaves Girl to practice law in Boston. Girl finds Boy and they both realize that this relationship will never work. She’s a vegan. He loves a good steak. So, they agree to disagree and part on good terms. She finds a job with PETA and he becomes partner in one of the largest law firms in Boston. They are both very happy because they following the beat of their own, not someone else’s, drummer.

They Leave
It started out as a dream house or a quiet weekend camping trip. Then came the homicidal maniac or evil spirit. Since the people involved are mild mannered citizens, they get out of the house or flag down a park ranger and get as far, far away as they can from the malevolent entity. After all, fighting a homicidal maniac or evil spirit and expecting to win is just plain crazy.

So there it is, movies that won’t be playing at the local multiplex. By the way, if the any of the powers that be in Hollywood happen to be reading this and are interested in making a movie based on my ideas, for the right price, I’ll do the screenplay.

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